No Heaven For A G

I guess it’s been a long time coming. Why do I feel like I been here so many times before…?

I just don’t get how I can fuck up something so perfect. I mean, I guess I see exactly how it happened but I still don’t SEE how the fuck it happened. I’m reading it over and over again and I get exaxtly what he’s saying… I just hate how everything I do comes off as me “pushing him away” when that wasn’t how it was at all. But that’s just how the fuck I come off to people. I seem all shut off like I don’t want people to know me. Truth be told, I don’t think I do.

I’m ranting. I just need to get this off my chest. This is fucked up. You fuckin suck. Why do it seem like you knew you was gon do this shit two days ago? Cuz you fuckin did. You knew then we was gon break up so why the FUCK you aint just say something then? How you gon tell me I shouldn’t drag the fuckin relationships out if I didn’t want it, when that’s exactly what the fuck you did. Then you gon close it out with “I love you, and if this was under different circumstances, it coulda worked.” DIFFERENT CRCUMSTANCES MY ASS. DIDNT I TELL YOU THAT FROM THE JUMP. I SWEAR I WAS SAYIN THAT FROM THE BEGINNING. BUT BECAUSE NOW THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL, IT’S A VALID REASON TO BREAK UP. oh. ok. fair enough.

I’m just venting. I’m not mad at you at all. In the end, it is what it is. And it isn’t what it isn’t. And what it isn’t…is me and you. No more Bru. No more Brubru. That’s the fuckin part that sucks the most. Didn’t I tell you I wanted this forever?

Oh. I forgot. I don’t emote. I don’t tell you how I feel. That’s all in my head.

Now I’m just being snarky. That was completely unnecessary.

I wish I could just hate you. From the depths of my soul. I wish I could just replace every emotion I’ll ever feel in life… with hate…for you.

But. I can’t. Whichn is even worse than if I could.

Ugh. This blows.

But at least you can be happy now.

Good for you.